All Poked Out

OH NO WE’RE SUCKED AGAIN!
Hi, my name is Shingenmochi and I’m a recovering Pokeholic.

Several years ago when gas prices didn’t require selling your first-born child, my elementary-school age cousins thought it would be neat to challenge their cool gaming cousin (I know this may be hard to believe, but that would be me) to Pokemon battles. I laughed and told them playing Pokemon at my age would make me their uncool cousin.

Then one of them made a smart-alec comment about beating me in the game so — being the mature adult in the group — I bought the latest Pokemon game and dedicated the next month to crushing their little, pre-pubescent Pokemon dreams. I read up on EV training online and proceeded to burn, spike, poison, paralyze and crush their poor, overmatched Pokemon and … wait, wait, wait for it … BUWAHAHA!!! I may not be the best, second best or even 1 millionth best Pokemon player in the world but I should at least beat a couple of gradeschoolers.

Then I realized that grown women likely don’t want to date grown men playing Pokemon so I quit cold turkey. Undefeated and with my point already made to my shell-shocked cousins, I bade farewell to my Blaziken — “Crispy” — and other beloved monsters, swearing to never touch Pokemon again.

Fast forward to the present and we now have Nintendo’s newest Pokemon offerings, Diamond and Pearl. Even with new features such as online battling and trading, I was still safely on the wagon. Then one of the little punks said he could beat me now, just cause he’s older. I bought two games — one for me and one for my kissing cousins, just so I can crush them again BUWAHAHA!!! I think I might need an intervention in a few weeks.

For the complete Pokemon rundown, check this review.